To Husband 1.0

This was e-mailed to me about 5 years ago by Mari. I thought it was so funny so I wanted to share it today since I don't have much else to post about. NOTE: Mike, I love you very much and this definately does NOT pertain to you! :)



FYI New Software


Dear Tech Support:


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow-down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewlery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.


In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


What can I do?


Signed,

Desperate.


REPLY:


Dear Desperate:


First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operational system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewlery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. (Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create snoringloudly.wav file.)


In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.


Good Luck,

Tech Support



Have a blessed day!